It's picture time!!

Rhys is 9 months old already! I can't believe that in only a few months, he will be 1 year old! Time seriously flies. It was like yesterday when we brought him home and put him in his crib that looked like it was just so big for him. He is so big now. Whenever I tell people how old he is, they say that he is so big! I still remember spending my days sitting on the couch with him in my lap and watching TV. I can't really watch TV while he is awake these days because you will see his eyes glaze over and he will stare at it for a while. I still manage to watch my Long Island Medium episodes on Mondays though...I can't miss that. 

I can't believe I've been unemployed for so long. I was so hoping that I'd be able to find a job by now, but things just haven't worked out for me. It's come to the point where I think I may have to take a refresher course so that I am even eligible for these positions. But on the plus side...I don't miss a single moment of Rhys growing up. I don't have to get a report of all the wonderful new milestones that he is meeting from a nanny/babysitter. I get to see it all and record it all. These days, his thing is clapping. He is starting to clap when he is excited. It is just about the cutest thing in the world!! He is also blabbering a lot more these days. His favorite word these days is "Daddae". He makes poop faces like a real human being, making grunting noises that go along. Rhys is also very much interested in food. I've been feeding him Cheerios and freeze dried baby yogurt chips so he can work on his fine motor skills. In about 2 weeks, his ability to transfer food from his hands to his mouth has increased drastically. He's figured out that in order to get the food in his hand into his mouth, he has to open his hands to release the food that he has just grasped. I've also been feeding him more foods that the whole family can eat. I've given him Chicken Pot Pie and Meatloaf. Of course, it is baby friendly with very little salt. But I have to admit...it tastes pretty good! 

He is also very interested in whatever I am eating. If he spots me drinking a glass of water, he will stop what he is doing from across the room and quickly make his way over to me and try to grab it. He is getting pretty good at drinking from a straw these days...although most of what he sucks up ends up on his shirt and his pants. I figure it is good practice. I can hear loud GULP noises when he drinks and I am so sure that he is drinking way more that he can handle. You know that feeling when you drink too much in one gulp and it hurts your throat...that happens to Rhys often. After a few sips from his cup, his face gets red and he lets out a loud grunt. It's quite funny. 

I'm so blessed to be able to be there for all of these precious moments. 

Anxiety Attacks!!

So an update on the Sleep Training. He's sleeping 6-7 hour stretches! But he wakes up and cries for 15-30 minutes on some nights because he still doesn't like his crib that much. So after he goes down which is around 7:30 ish, I START to make dinner and eat by 8 or so and once dinner is done and I do some dishes and try to drink a cup of coffee, it is already close to 9:30. I wait until 10 pm to pump and then go on the computer for a little bit before I shower and get ready for bed. I'm in bed by 11:30 or so and then as I begin to close my eyes, I hear him wake up and start to cry. The sleep book that I bought told me not to go immediately into his room, but rather wait for 5 minutes of crying before stepping in to reassure him. The thing is...he will cry for 4-5 mins, and then try to go to sleep and then wake up again...even more furious and cries again for another 5 minutes and then tries to go back to sleep. This sometimes goes on for 30 minutes to an hour at worst! All I can do is sit/stand in my room and watch and pray that he falls back asleep. My heart starts to race and I can feel the vein in my head start to pound....but I must wait. Is he hungry? Is he cold? Is his diaper full? All things I can't check while I am in the other room. But I can't go in because it would ruin the training. The book says that as long as he tries to soothe himself, I have to start the timer all over again. I restarted the timer about 15 times last night around 3 ish. He cried on and off for 1.5 hours! I get so much anxiety because I have no control over how he goes back to bed. I can't just go in there and nurse him because it would ruin all of the progress that we've made so far. So I have to watch and hope that he sleeps. I don't rejoice when he puts his head down because I know that in about 1 minute, he will wake and cry even louder. I even get mad at Brian for saying things like, "that was easy" or "he went down pretty fast" because the baby always wakes up when he says that.

I get so sad for making him cry so much, but the book tells me that babies need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. I have a very persistent baby...and that means that I am getting even less sleep than I was getting before. And what's worse is that now I have insomnia and anxiety to add to the list. I'm lucky if I can get an hour of sound sleep at a time these days. I wake up in the middle of the night to the baby crying, almost like someone would wake up if they heard, "FIRE!!!"

Rhys fell asleep 2 hours past his normal bedtime. I hope he sleeps in...

<Yawn>