Playdates

Rhys at the park on one of our playdates

Rhys and I have been trying to go to more playdates these days as Rhys has gotten more active. Rhys enjoys going to the park and looking at the birds. He is OBSESSED with birds. He loves watching them and asks to be taken to the birds if they are far away. He mimics the cawing sounds that the birds make (we have mostly crows in our neighborhood). So we both are getting to enjoy more of this early fall San Diego sun. Rhys likes to bit and pull at other children, I believe as a show of his excitement...but it usually scares the other kids. I've actually started to worry about his biting. He will come charging at another kid with his mouth open and proceeds to grab the kid's face, arms, clothes...whatever he can get his little hands on. It feels like after every playdate, I'm telling Stephanie about how Rhys tried to bite yet another kid today. Earlier this week, I went to go meet a woman I became friends with at a playdate and he ended up biting her boy's fingers! I saw Rhys bite the kid and he bit hard! The other kid had a delayed reaction to the bite, but he cried a lot. I felt so bad that Rhys was the bully. I know he doesn't know that what he's doing is wrong, but I can't help but be a bit more stern when it comes to his biting. I really hope that this is a phase and he will grow out of it soon. 

More~!

Lately I've been teaching Rhys some sign language here and there so I can better communicate with him. I've started with a few simple words: More, Eat, Milk, All Done, and Car. So far he's signed back More and All Done for sure. He signs more when he wants more food or when he wants me to do something fun again for him. I'm having a lot of fun signing with him because I really can sense that he wants to communicate with me. These days in the mornings, Rhys does this game where he rolls a ball under the crib and then grabs my hand and pushes it under the crib toward the ball, basically asking me to get it for him. He also will ask to be picked up and then proceed to point to where he would like me to take him...(it is usually outside that he wants me to take him to). It's fun and exciting being able to understand him more, but I can't always do what he asks me to do (like give him a mini twix bar) so he gets frustrated too. But overall we have a great time with it. He understands the word milk as well. When I ask, "Do you want milk?" He stops what he's doing and walks over to me with a BIG smile on his face. Love that kid!

Mind Blown...?

Well, it's more like eyes opened I guess. So when I was a kid/teenager, one of the things I did not like was my mom watching me eat. She'd make food for us and then just sit there at the dining table and just watch us eat. I'd get annoyed at her and ask her why she had to do that. Her reply was, "I just want to see you eat." Well I finally figured out why she loved to watch us eat...

Everyday, I think about what I am going to feed Rhys today and if he'll like my food. Many times I put a lot of effort into making something and Rhys wants nothing to do with it and would rather eat fish sticks. So when Rhys actually likes something that I make for him, I can't help but watch him eat his food. It brings me such joy and pleasure when Rhys uses his chubby little fingers to grab the food and bring it to his mouth. But I realized that I was sitting there...watching him eat. I imagine that I would probably watch him eat for years to come just out of habit. But I hope that Rhys doesn't get annoyed at me for watching him enjoy my cooking. I hope he will just continue to put on a great eating show for me and make me feel so happy.

Planning planning

I'm not much of a party planner of any sorts. I definitely don't have the arty crafty side in me. I think I may have when I was younger, especially with making clothes and sewing bears/pillows/bags. But these days I think the craftiest thing I do is knit...but even that has taken a back seat to Rhys. Is cooking considered being crafty? I don't think so...

Anyways, I have two parties that I am kinda sorta planning. I have Ruby and Raf's baby shower that will be happening this Saturday. I have to buy some of the food and decorations and the cake. I'm a little worried that some of the decorations that I bought from Amazon have still not arrived yet...but it's okay because I know that I can go to Party City and get any emergency decorations if needed. I also have Rhys' first birthday party to kinda plan as well. It's pretty much the decorations and the cake/favors...but I feel like I need to make it look pretty since it is a big event. I custom ordered some blocks with Rhys' name painted on it. I also ordered a Happy 1st Birthday banner, and....wait...that's all I have. I probably will be ordering a cake and Stephanie said that she would be making some sort of sweet treat for our favors. I also have to buy some cute balloons.

I also have started to think about making a simple quilt to put over Rhys' door to try and reduce the outside noise from bothering him when he sleeps. I have to first check to see if my sewing machine even works...haha. I was initially going to replace the door from the current hollow-core door to a solid-core door, but I feel like that is a lot of money and it may not even fix the problem. I should try a cheaper alternative before going for the big change. So I have to be more crafty these days....for my sanity's sake. Otherwise, I will just become a meaner and grumpier mommy who gets mad at her husband for coughing and farting too loud! Yes...that is me....sorry Brian.

I'm writing this as I sit in my bedroom with the baby cam on, watching Rhys fidgeting while he takes his first nap of the day. I hope he sleeps for 15 more minutes!! please!!!

Oh yes, I read my sister's well being blog the other day www.thewellbeingproject.blogspot.com and found out about this app that you can install on your smart device and it can adjust the light setting on your device so you won't have to strain your eyes! I have the baby cam on pretty much all night and it tends to be pretty bright when we are sleeping. After installing a similar app (mine didn't have f.lux) I can sleep without the big white glare of my screen. Thanks Carol! Keep up the good work!

I think I may go rollerblading with Rhys and Julian. I am a bit hesitant because it is 5 miles long but I think I will feel better afterwards.

Rhys after eating spaghetti and some cake
 (weird combo, I know)

It's picture time!!

Rhys is 9 months old already! I can't believe that in only a few months, he will be 1 year old! Time seriously flies. It was like yesterday when we brought him home and put him in his crib that looked like it was just so big for him. He is so big now. Whenever I tell people how old he is, they say that he is so big! I still remember spending my days sitting on the couch with him in my lap and watching TV. I can't really watch TV while he is awake these days because you will see his eyes glaze over and he will stare at it for a while. I still manage to watch my Long Island Medium episodes on Mondays though...I can't miss that. 

I can't believe I've been unemployed for so long. I was so hoping that I'd be able to find a job by now, but things just haven't worked out for me. It's come to the point where I think I may have to take a refresher course so that I am even eligible for these positions. But on the plus side...I don't miss a single moment of Rhys growing up. I don't have to get a report of all the wonderful new milestones that he is meeting from a nanny/babysitter. I get to see it all and record it all. These days, his thing is clapping. He is starting to clap when he is excited. It is just about the cutest thing in the world!! He is also blabbering a lot more these days. His favorite word these days is "Daddae". He makes poop faces like a real human being, making grunting noises that go along. Rhys is also very much interested in food. I've been feeding him Cheerios and freeze dried baby yogurt chips so he can work on his fine motor skills. In about 2 weeks, his ability to transfer food from his hands to his mouth has increased drastically. He's figured out that in order to get the food in his hand into his mouth, he has to open his hands to release the food that he has just grasped. I've also been feeding him more foods that the whole family can eat. I've given him Chicken Pot Pie and Meatloaf. Of course, it is baby friendly with very little salt. But I have to admit...it tastes pretty good! 

He is also very interested in whatever I am eating. If he spots me drinking a glass of water, he will stop what he is doing from across the room and quickly make his way over to me and try to grab it. He is getting pretty good at drinking from a straw these days...although most of what he sucks up ends up on his shirt and his pants. I figure it is good practice. I can hear loud GULP noises when he drinks and I am so sure that he is drinking way more that he can handle. You know that feeling when you drink too much in one gulp and it hurts your throat...that happens to Rhys often. After a few sips from his cup, his face gets red and he lets out a loud grunt. It's quite funny. 

I'm so blessed to be able to be there for all of these precious moments. 

Anxiety Attacks!!

So an update on the Sleep Training. He's sleeping 6-7 hour stretches! But he wakes up and cries for 15-30 minutes on some nights because he still doesn't like his crib that much. So after he goes down which is around 7:30 ish, I START to make dinner and eat by 8 or so and once dinner is done and I do some dishes and try to drink a cup of coffee, it is already close to 9:30. I wait until 10 pm to pump and then go on the computer for a little bit before I shower and get ready for bed. I'm in bed by 11:30 or so and then as I begin to close my eyes, I hear him wake up and start to cry. The sleep book that I bought told me not to go immediately into his room, but rather wait for 5 minutes of crying before stepping in to reassure him. The thing is...he will cry for 4-5 mins, and then try to go to sleep and then wake up again...even more furious and cries again for another 5 minutes and then tries to go back to sleep. This sometimes goes on for 30 minutes to an hour at worst! All I can do is sit/stand in my room and watch and pray that he falls back asleep. My heart starts to race and I can feel the vein in my head start to pound....but I must wait. Is he hungry? Is he cold? Is his diaper full? All things I can't check while I am in the other room. But I can't go in because it would ruin the training. The book says that as long as he tries to soothe himself, I have to start the timer all over again. I restarted the timer about 15 times last night around 3 ish. He cried on and off for 1.5 hours! I get so much anxiety because I have no control over how he goes back to bed. I can't just go in there and nurse him because it would ruin all of the progress that we've made so far. So I have to watch and hope that he sleeps. I don't rejoice when he puts his head down because I know that in about 1 minute, he will wake and cry even louder. I even get mad at Brian for saying things like, "that was easy" or "he went down pretty fast" because the baby always wakes up when he says that.

I get so sad for making him cry so much, but the book tells me that babies need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. I have a very persistent baby...and that means that I am getting even less sleep than I was getting before. And what's worse is that now I have insomnia and anxiety to add to the list. I'm lucky if I can get an hour of sound sleep at a time these days. I wake up in the middle of the night to the baby crying, almost like someone would wake up if they heard, "FIRE!!!"

Rhys fell asleep 2 hours past his normal bedtime. I hope he sleeps in...

<Yawn>

Sleep Training, Take 2

Sigh...I actually broke down and cried in front of Brian this morning as I was holding the baby and rocking back and forth on my knees around 6:30 this morning. Rhys has been sleeping very poorly ever since I have been back to exclusively taking care of Rhys. I think back to the days when Rhys would sleep 4 or 5 hours on his own. These days he sleeps 2-3 hours when I first put him down for bed, but afterwards, he wakes up every hour pretty much the rest of the evening. I take him to bed with me around 1 or 2 am when Brian finally stops playing video games and gets into bed. We fall back asleep just fine after the move to our bed, but Rhys wakes up quite frequently because he is either in need of my boob or that the bed is too small for him to really move around in. He gets stuck in a position that has become uncomfortable and when he tries to move, he realizes that there isn't that much room to move. I've actually fallen off of the bed because Rhys basically rolled his way to the edge of the bed and I try to make room for him to roll as he pleases so he would go back to sleep. I fold up in these weird positions and I wake up with such a soreness in my ribs of all places.

This morning was not any different from other nights, but I think I was at my last straw. I think I may have scared Brian a little with my crying in the morning cuz he called around 2pm today to check up on me. So, I bought the Cry It Out book by Dr. Ferber. It isn't what you think though. It is not put your baby in the crib and leave and not come back til the morning. It's a progressive wait approach where you wait progressively longer intervals before you go in and check on your baby to reassure him that I am still near and reassure myself that he is okay. I waited 2 minutes, then checked up on him. He cried to be held and taken out of the crib, but I laid him down instead and told him "night night". He did NOT like that. He cried even louder and was not going to be consoled by my rubbing his back and patting his butt. I did that for about a minute and then I slipped out of his view and waited for 3 minutes this time. It was so hard watching him cry and look around for me and try to climb the bars of the crib. When I went back to check on him, he actually got his little self up to a standing position and wailed for me to pick him up. I rubbed his back and then put him back down in his crib and continued to listen to an even louder protest from him. I waited another 4 minutes and then...he kinda looked like he was gonna go to sleep, but after about 20 seconds, he woke back up and cried even more furiously because he realized that he was alone. After another 4 minutes, I went to check up on him and reassured him that I was not totally gone. Finally after about 15 or so minutes of crying...he went to sleep on his own. I waited another few minutes to make sure that he was really going to stay asleep and then walked to the kitchen to get some water and repeated over and over that I was sorry I had to do this to him. Hopefully he will get used to this without too much trouble.

I think my biggest battle will be when he wakes up again and I have to do this all over again...


Wish me luck.